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Sometimes we fall in love….

with someone who doesn’t feel the same way about us and the question becomes, “how can we free ourselves from the pain of unrequited love”. I spent years in the painful bubble of unrequited love, unable to free myself. Those of you who have been in this position probably would agree that the longing seems to become intensified when we realize that someone or something is out of our reach.
This is human nature; we always want something or someone more if the object of our desire is unobtainable.

Bohemian 2I suspect that many unrequited love torches would have been long put out if an actual relationship had taken place, simply because unrequited love is fuelled by our fantasies, we build the person up in our minds to be more fascinating than they probably are in real life, we put them on the pedestal where our own beautiful and valuable “self” belongs. We look up to them with this lurking inferiority, we are tempted to ingratiate ourselves and we feel over the moon if an inkling of a smile should come our way…

Luckily we grow in wisdom…

with experience especially painful ones, by giving ourselves away and suffering the consequences, we eventually learn to value ourselves.

These days if I’m interested in someone and the interest isn’t returned, no matter how wonderful I think they are, I trust that they are not an appropriate match, because if they were the interest would be returned.

bohemia in meIt’s a no brainer that I failed to see in the past because I didn’t value myself or my own needs sufficiently, I was far too willing to scramble for crumbs from the table of someone who couldn’t love me in the way I wanted to be loved.

Now I think, “Why would I want to be with someone that is not an appropriate match? Why would I even feel hard done by?” So I trust and let go quickly.

There will be no more unrequited love moss growing under my feet, I’m far too busy enjoying my own company and my life.

So lovelies if any of you…

are pining over someone, try to trust your life and let go. Leave some open space for a true match to grace your life. You are worth it.

Post adopted from: Caroline de Lisser

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